My father protested the Vietnam War. In 1974 they adopted a mixed race daughter from Saigon and raised her as their own. On my father’s side my grandfather was 100% Irish and my grandmother 100% Italian. Uumm… I stutter knowing where my mother’s exact bloodline traces, so I won’t guess, but believe me, once she reads this I will know. Love you mom.

These past two months have been mentally exhausting, almost to the point of breaking. But it’s made me reflect on why I’m here. It’s made me reflect on the truly defying steps my parents took to give me life.

Oh if my father was alive today, how his heart would break for me, his granddaughters, and our country. To know we live in a world where lynchings are on the rise (if they even stopped) and black women are robbed of a peaceful night’s sleep because police are not required to break into the right house.

I may not be in the streets marching, or shouting the BLM mantra. Hey, I’m an introvert, it’s not gonna happen. But I will say I have committed to POC at my workplace having a different experience moving forward. I’ve set a video project forward which requires a commitment to equity and inclusion if you want to be in it. I’ve brought a book to the Book Club, that would have gone overlooked due to it’s “controversy”, The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas. Maybe they won’t choose it, but you won’t call it controversial in my presence. It’s relevant. And for the first time in over its 50 years of existence, we acknowledged Juneteenth.

So today I wish my father a heavenly Happy Father’s Day. I thank him for being the example of being the change you want to see in the world. This Asian woman. This black woman. This woman with an Irish last name, will continue to try to change the world, one video, one book, one celebration at a time.

Happy Father’s Day to James Patrick Hazlett. I love you Dad.

Am I gaining a white ally or someone riding the wave? No matter social media, television, or just work, racism seems to be the new “hot topic”. You see, George Floyd, was not the first and, call me a pessimist if you will, he will not be the last to die because of racism. George Floyd was the final straw. And I’m not sure who viewed it as the final straw, people of color or white America, but streets around the world have filled with protesters of all races and nationalities against racial injustice.

Let’s be real, the Black Lives Matter movement did not start with the tragic death of George Floyd. No. No. It was a little boy by the name of Trayvon Martin and the acquittal of his murderer that triggered the BLM movement. His murderer wasn’t even a cop. You see, that did not upset white America enough for black lives to matter. But hey, there was no video, it went to the courts, and the jury did not see the murderer as guilty. I’ll give a pass…I guess.

Ok, so now you have to see it to believe it. Is that really true? I won’t go through all the videos of the black men/boys I’ve watched die, because I will say George Floyd was the first I watched in it’s entirety because I didn’t know who or really what I was watching. My point, there have been countless videos, some just surfacing now of innocent men and women of color being brutalized by police, and for some odd reason, their black lives didn’t matter enough to white America.

Why watching little 12 year-old Tamir Rice being shot caused no outrage for white America, I don’t know. What I do know, which brings me to my next point, that caller should have talked to the 12 year-old boy and not 911. Because that is what also made it the final straw for me, I won’t speak for black America. I saw the George Floyd video within days of seeing the racist white chick, terrorize the law-abiding Harvard bird watcher, as she choked the hell out of her dog. Mind you, I watched these two videos weeks after choosing not to watch the video of Ahmaud Arbery. Oh yeah, let me not forget about consistently reading about Breonna Taylor. Yeah. Somehow racist 911 calls, vigilantes gunning down joggers, and a hard working essential employee trying to get a good night’s sleep, wasn’t enough for white America to care about black lives.

So now white America is upset about racism. Now white America wants to take a knee. When Black Lives Matter protested seven years ago, they were thugs running the street. When Colin Kaepernick wanted to take a knee to protest peacefully, white America lost their minds and burned all their Nike gear and fired the black man. And the white silence surrounding outrageous racist 911 reports jeopardizing black lives has been deafening.

Is this allyship or is this a fad? I welcome the allyship because this battle cannot be won without unity. I welcome the collaborations to move race relations in America forward. But understand, for black America, this is not a fad. For black people, we are enduring a pandemic, social distancing, and still watching our fellow brothers and sisters murdered at the hands of systematic racism in America. Not only are we not allowed to jog in the “wrong” neighborhood, we are not allowed to go to sleep at night or birdwatch in public places. We may not even be able to write about how we are feeling right now without retaliation.

So if you’re truly “woke”, “down for the cause”, or trying to comprehend what your fellow black American is going through, make sure your passion is genuine, because as long as we are black and racists exist, this fight will never be a fad for black America.

To My Future Generations,

For those of you who are reading this, you may know me as grandmother, great grandmother, or maybe even great great grandmother. I do hope the writing and speaking career I created has benefited your lives.

There was a time when the world shut down and unemployment unleashed its curse. The leaders of our world determined who was and who was not essential. What a sinister label to have to wear to determine if you were worthy enough to continue to support your family.

Well my loves, they deemed me worthy enough. However, it was that essential label that made me realize it was time to begin my writing career. I pulled together all my finished and unfinished writing projects. I signed with a small book and media publisher who showed interest in not only my writing, but my podcast as well.

I created a plan to complete my projects and began to absorb anything I could that would help me on my journey for a successful writing career. Therefore, in the worst of times and labeled as essential, I began to write with a purpose. I wrote to remove the labeling. I wrote to ensure single professional mothers throughout the world would have a cheerleader in their corners. I wrote so one day you would know I began a legacy in the midst of a worldwide pandemic.

With Love,

Legacy Starter

By: Mia L. Hazlett

Hey Sis, how are you doing? Nope. I didn’t ask about your kids, your momma, or your family. I asked how you are doing. You. As a world, these times are unimaginable. As a single professional mother, these times are trying to say the very least.

Can I say I’m fortunate to be an essential employee? Yes. Can I say I’m fortunate I can work remotely? Yes again. There are many among us who don’t have these two components to our job and no longer have an income to support the household. And sis, if you are one of these people, I don’t have the words for you. Screw thoughts and prayers. Bill collectors don’t seem to accept those as payments when your life is falling apart.

Or, maybe you are an essential employee, but you can’t do your job remotely. What a conundrum for us single professional mothers. Especially if your daycare is closed and school has shifted to home. How do you support your family, go to work, and watch your kids? I feel for you. That may mean nothing as your life seems to implode, but from the bottom of my heart, I understand your struggle.

For however you feel, understand these times are trying. I say trying because we are never perfect the first time we try something. So don’t worry about getting this right. Don’t worry if you don’t know who is watching your kids tomorrow. You’re not supposed to. Be pissed. Be mad. Be scared. Life just slapped you across your face, so stop responding the way you think you should and deal with the reality head on. Sis, get as messy as you need to right now as you get through this. I know this is an extremely isolating time, because we must socially distance ourselves, which puts childcare on the shelf. I mean, the one time you want to set your pride aside to ask for help, you can’t. Damn!

I remember sitting in my house the night before I was going to return to work. We were sitting around the dinner table, a rarity in this household. My oldest asked me if I had to go to work the next day and I immediately responded yes. I had the capability and permission to work from home, but I had it in my head to go to the office. There was something in her tone when she said, “okay”, that was unsettling for me.

It was the first time the reality of this pandemic set in and I only recognized the single and mother in my self-given title. Yes, I require the professional to support my family, but I couldn’t risk leaving the house and bringing something home to them. I couldn’t risk getting sick, because who is taking care of my daughters if I get sick? Shit, who is taking care of me if I get sick? Um, no one. We are not only the breadwinners, but we are the caretakers. There is no backup in our household when we don’t show up to run it.

Sis, we are going to get through this. Look at everything else life slapped us with and we got the hell up and handled our business. It’s not going to be easy, but all I ask is that you try to give it your best. This to shall pass. If you need to reach out, mhazlett@singleprofessionalmother.com.

By: Mia L. Hazlett
9/12/14

When marriage ends, it is like a death. There is an initial shock and anger and stages and blah blah blah. Again, I’m not a licensed shrink or anything, but I am separated and have been for five years now. Fingers crossed , that the end is close. One of my major accomplishments over these five years; forgiveness. But like death, forgiveness comes with memories. Sometimes the emotions that go with those memories, leak from the big hole in my face. I believe that’s what makes me human, I’m not perfect.

The thing about it, forgiveness gives me a freedom to let go of a lot of pain that went along with the memories. It allows me to love my ex as the mother of his children and let him into our lives freely. This may be confusing, so let me explain. He’s the father or my children and always will be. I’m the mother of his children and always will be. I would be devastated if I ever had to tell my children something happened to their father. They love their father to pieces. He’s not always around, but that’s my issue, not my children’s.

So it was my daughter’s birthday the other day and we, father, mother, and daughters, had dinner together. At this dinner, we took a family selfie. It wasn’t about love and us getting back together, it was about my daughters. I’ve had friends say they could never do it, and I truly comprehend. There was a time, before forgiveness, that finding us in the same house would be impossible.

So why the change? Last year my youngest daughter had a project at school, which required her to bring in a picture of her family. Now over the years her drawings have included my parents or her aunt and cousins, but in all, there has always been her father. I found the predicament quite sad, because between myself and the girls we all knew of one picture we all posed for. We looked throughout the house and finally after over an hour, found the picture. My oldest had framed it and hid it on the dresser in her closet. She wasn’t sure if she should put it in the open. Another sad discovery on the quest to find the one family picture.

I vowed at that point to take more family pictures of us. My children should not have to hold onto one picture and then fear that they won’t get it back. I reassured them if we didn’t get it back, I could just print another one. I was missing the point. My kids had nothing to do with our separation. I had to get over myself and allow for visual memories.

I get there is a reason you are separated or divorced from your ex, but the courts divorce you and your spouse, not your spouse from their child/ren. If the pain is still fresh and years have gone by, it’s time to work on forgiveness. If you can’t do it for yourself, kids are a pretty important reason too.

Copyright © 2014 – Mia L. Hazlett

By: Mia L. Hazlett
2/20/2018

Writing and editing are going to be you

r top daily tasks as an EA. So ask yourself, how are your writing and editing skills? When I first began as an EA, I thought my writing and editing were unquestionable. I wrote blogs and stories, authored a book and considered myself a writer.

What I failed to realize, business writing requires a totally different set of writing and editing skills. When I craft a story, there are outlines, drafts, character development, and I can walk away from it and come back in a day or two, three, …

That’s not how it works when you work for the C-level office. Sometimes you have all day, but most of the time it is only hours. Depending on what is being sent, there is no time for all the preparation. Most of the time I’m editing what is already written, but there are the times when I’m pulling from a general idea of the message to convey.

Because it was such a huge part of my job, I took business writing courses. I also read the material my bosses wrote, so I could copy their style. I’ve found the key to good business writing, brevity. Whether email or letters, you need to be quick and to the point, but you must do it with your boss’ voice.

Nowadays, it’s about the email. Your email is probably going to have the formal letter attached. I rarely mail anything through snail mail these days. So no matter how polished that letter may be, they are going to read the email first.

Here’s some things that have brought my little typos to my attention when I proofread:

• Do it at about 250x magnification,
• Read it backwards,
• Read it aloud,
• Printing it,
• Actually proofreading.

Most of the time, your email or letter are going to be the only thing people read that represent your office. Nine times out of ten there is some sort of ask related to the correspondence. It is imperative your writing represents your office in the best light.